im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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