we have officially lost it.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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