is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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