Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
