4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
