Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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