Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
