Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
