hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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