Buhtt sex?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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