One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
