he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
