I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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