Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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