how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
