I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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