Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
