I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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