Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
