he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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