Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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