Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
