I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
