I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
