ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
A bitchslap is in order.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
