i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
do herpes really smell.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
