that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
