somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
