Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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