Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She said her name was "party"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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