Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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