We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
