Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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