I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
