My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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