We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm at about main and main street
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
