im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
