i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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