You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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