The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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