Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
