i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
