And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
