if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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