dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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