Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
