Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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