Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
