if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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