Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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